Adoption Love

Slowly I have been decorating a house I have lived in for almost seven years now with my husband. Three of which our two beautiful children have filled with laughter, tears, fun, hurts, love and the beauty of who God is. This week I was attempting to add another set of pictures to the hallway on our main floor of our cape cod. I spent nearly 15 minutes searching for a hammer I never found, to give in to using the edge of vice grips to unsuccessfully hammer in two needles to the wall to hang the picture frame from. This frame in particular was a gift from my parents. Half of a matching set, it quotes the Bible.  In particular it only partially quotes the love phrase from 1 Corinthians 13. It focuses on verse 7: bears ALL, believes ALL, hopes ALL, and never ends.

Why is it that when it comes to caring for the orphans do we called after Christ’s own heart, not bear ALL things? Believe ALL things? Hope ALL things? I Corinthians affirms, “Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (vv4-8)

For a week I have contemplated the “all” of this verse and the “all” of my Jesus. What is His ALL—the whole of divine love? When God uses this Agape love and His “all” in the New Testament, what did he mean for us to bear all? Endure all? Hope all? When God uses “all” it speaks of, “all encompassing in scope—to the fullest measure”. Not one is left out. What has “all” meant to me? In the beginning of caring for our two, in my secret quiet prayer time, God blessed my heart to wholly pray for “all” their needs including those who had neglected and hurt them for their whole lives.

If my Bible is the breathed, inspired word of God, why then, can you not see that these children and their parents are gifts from God that you can and should love? As we stepped out 3 years ago in a leap of faith, the phone call came in as we were getting our hair cut. Chris was in between jobs. He didn’t have a steady income. I was on Christmas break from school. The family services worker was ending the list. We had determined we really only wanted to wet our toes in the small waves with one foster child. This was a sibling group and at the upper age range we wanted to take. And in the back of your mind, you know if it doesn’t work out in an emergency placement, you can hope to pass them to a more permanent situation sometime in the first 30 days…

 “Love bears all things. Love endures all things. Love suffers long and is kind…” Allyson would not fall asleep until 2 or 3 am and had to be held and rocked and gingerly placed in her bed. Aaron could not leave her sight. Every night as I rocked her for hours I prayed for her parents. “Love dos not parade itself, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own…. I did not pray for their parents’ demise, but that they would be released from demonic influence of drugs, abuse, poor parenting, greed, etc. “Love thinks no evil, love does not rejoice in iniquity…” As much as I wanted my own children and family, these children were such a gift and miracle that they could be alive after the neglect they endured. How could I bear taking that away from their birth mother? I knew the creation that my own womb would not produce. I could not be the one to take the chance from this mother and father. We had to do everything in our power to come along side them, no matter how it seemed to go against common sense and what the world said was “right” to help them be parents to these miracles.

God would do his part where our love and prayers stopped.

He knew from the beginning that Allyson and Aaron would always belong to us. In a way, their parents are a part of our family, too. The foster-care system failed them both when they were children needing a forever family. It failed to protect them. Chris and I now stand in the gap daily for them, even though we no longer have direct contact with them, we are glad they are a part of our story.

Through this experience of foster care and adoption, he showed Chris and I that our calling is to help the orphans in a capacity that many are not called to. Even if you are still feeling like, I could never give a child back; I hope that you are seeing how you could love both the child and the parent, no matter what the parent has done. That God has called us to LOVE—and that through His love and our prayers anything is possible! In as much as these orphans need our love, so do the hurting parents. How can God use you to help the children in our neighborhoods who have no one to love them? Those who cannot call someone Mom and Dad?