I could start this with a number of questions or cliches. But this morning my God decided to give me a kiss. A gift. Something to bless my heart. I got in my car and immediately my two little dears began asking for mommy to put on the "soup song" and "I'm not perfect". Both of which I don't think are real song titles but are their favorite Laurie Berkner songs of the week. Mommy of course has misplaced the CD with these songs on it (not on purpose might I add). As I start the car, "The Revelation Song" comes on sung by Kari Jobe. My four year old princess immediately belts out "holy, holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty! Who was and is, and is to come!" My heart screams, "Yes! Lord! Bring it!" When she opened her voice today and sang the words, that there were rolls of thunder and flashes of lightening! The tears roll down my cheeks. And, of course, it is picture day at my school where I work, and I chose today to wear mascara, eye liner, the whole shabang! This is it! This is amazing!
We left this morning before the sun woke. This also was pointed out as we packed the car for our journey to preschool and daycare this morning. "Mommy, is it almost night time?" No punkin pie. It's morning. It is early. Mommy has Bible Study this morning. And mommy has struggled with finding the time to delve into this weeks study and see it really working in her life. So this morning God decided to give a real life lesson!
What can break your heart? And bring you joy in the same instant? It was a gift from the indescribable power of our universe who created every living thing that ever has and will be that decided to have that be the first song on my radio this morning. He knew I needed that. Why? Because He wants me to know that I am loved.
"God has written the Romance not only on our hearts but all over the world around us. What we need is for him to open our eyes, to open our ears that we might recognize his voice calling to us, see his hand wooing us in the beauty that quickens our hearts." From the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge
I have no doubt that this is what God did for me today. I have been transformed by the greatest Romance that ever was and ever will be through a four year old beautiful little girl singing about the love of a savior.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Each morning I get to wake to you, to see your curls and listen to the gentle rhythm of your breathing. Already, you’ve been given a second chance at life. Even in the short two years of life before we met, God is the only one who really knows the harshness of what you went through and how close to death you came. What a privilege it is to have this second chance with you!
As a special education teacher, foster and a adoptive parent, children have a special place in our family. Add to the mix that I always had an overactive imagination that I was not really an only child but had secret brothers and sisters hidden in exotic places all over the world that one day I would get to meet and travel with, and you might get a glimpse into my love for life, travel and sharing my interests and the world with others.
A transformation has taken place in my heart over the last two years and 3 months. One that I never would have thought about or even considered. It started with a disease called endometriosis. A disease that took away my ability to conceive without expensive medical intervention. Many women in our nation end up infertile from this or for other reasons, while we watch others so easily have children. Children they never even considered having and once they have they don't ever bond with and have no desire to provide for. Then each month and year we go through the heart ache of not conceiving, while or best friends, sorority sisters, or coworkers do. The pressure builds, our hearts ache and wounds form in ourselves and our most precious relationships.
For me all of these things are things I've struggled with and maybe will write about, but today I want to talk about the transformation of my heart into the awe I hold in regards to the resilience of human life. All creatures depend on something or someone to get their sustenance early on in life, and then have have some mode of transportation to get it later on. For my two children who we were blessed to adopt through our state foster care system, their system failed them. I'm sure you can imagine some things from what you've seen through the media. But these things I'd seen didn't prepare me for the pictures and the eye-witness account I would get at their first meeting we would have with all of the state workers to discuss the plan of care. How could a human being survive in those conditions? Let alone a child and infant?
There is something deeper. There is a current that runs deeper than the milk, the nutrients, and the lack of exposure to a mother's love, that sustained them. For that each morning, I give thanks and am brought to tears that this second chance was given to my children when no one knew they were there. God was there with them for every breath. Every blood-curdling, hungry cry. I'm so thankful. And finally, thanks to a good Samaritan who saw something strange and called the police. They were found.
Each day is a new day. Children are taken for granted more than we realize and go hungry and cold and unloved. Be transformed. Find the joy in a child today the transformation you start, will move you more than the child.
I had something started for my first official blog for today. Something cerebral. Not emotion driven, however this is where I am going to start. So much of my life right now centers around how my life is morphing and changing around family and career and what shape that will end up looking like at the end of this stage. This blog will serve me as an outlet to practice the craft and art of writing. I hope it touches the hearts of those who read it and maybe entertains and challenges you, too. Thanks! Crystal
As a special education teacher, foster and a adoptive parent, children have a special place in our family. Add to the mix that I always had an overactive imagination that I was not really an only child but had secret brothers and sisters hidden in exotic places all over the world that one day I would get to meet and travel with, and you might get a glimpse into my love for life, travel and sharing my interests and the world with others.
A transformation has taken place in my heart over the last two years and 3 months. One that I never would have thought about or even considered. It started with a disease called endometriosis. A disease that took away my ability to conceive without expensive medical intervention. Many women in our nation end up infertile from this or for other reasons, while we watch others so easily have children. Children they never even considered having and once they have they don't ever bond with and have no desire to provide for. Then each month and year we go through the heart ache of not conceiving, while or best friends, sorority sisters, or coworkers do. The pressure builds, our hearts ache and wounds form in ourselves and our most precious relationships.
For me all of these things are things I've struggled with and maybe will write about, but today I want to talk about the transformation of my heart into the awe I hold in regards to the resilience of human life. All creatures depend on something or someone to get their sustenance early on in life, and then have have some mode of transportation to get it later on. For my two children who we were blessed to adopt through our state foster care system, their system failed them. I'm sure you can imagine some things from what you've seen through the media. But these things I'd seen didn't prepare me for the pictures and the eye-witness account I would get at their first meeting we would have with all of the state workers to discuss the plan of care. How could a human being survive in those conditions? Let alone a child and infant?
There is something deeper. There is a current that runs deeper than the milk, the nutrients, and the lack of exposure to a mother's love, that sustained them. For that each morning, I give thanks and am brought to tears that this second chance was given to my children when no one knew they were there. God was there with them for every breath. Every blood-curdling, hungry cry. I'm so thankful. And finally, thanks to a good Samaritan who saw something strange and called the police. They were found.
Each day is a new day. Children are taken for granted more than we realize and go hungry and cold and unloved. Be transformed. Find the joy in a child today the transformation you start, will move you more than the child.
I had something started for my first official blog for today. Something cerebral. Not emotion driven, however this is where I am going to start. So much of my life right now centers around how my life is morphing and changing around family and career and what shape that will end up looking like at the end of this stage. This blog will serve me as an outlet to practice the craft and art of writing. I hope it touches the hearts of those who read it and maybe entertains and challenges you, too. Thanks! Crystal
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