Full: "complete; entire; maximum, lacking nothing"
Circle: "a closed plane curve consisting of all points at a given distance from a point within it called the center"
The screaming, crying, was doable. The hives were almost doable. 12 a.m. She was still holding her. They had a bath. They brushed teeth, read four stories. Sang "Jesus loves me," "The Itsy, Bitsy Spider," "Skinnamarink" and "You are my Sunshine." I rocked her. I could feel her little muscles relax. Her long eyelashes would droop. She has perfect features. A beautiful princess. 1 a.m. each time that I get close to systematically laying her down in the crib, the muscles tense, the hives return and the sobbing is back. 3 a.m. She has finally cried herself to sleep. She is asleep in the crib with a death grip on my finger through the slats of the crib. Her brother is nearby and has slept through the repeated sobbing/quiet spells.
It is my turn. Waterfalls run from each eye. Silent sobs rise from my chest, but I make sure that they don't disturb my arm that is still attached to this little wonder God's chosen to put under our roof.
The next morning both kids are up by 7 am. Sleep deprived and jonesing for caffeine, we make it to our doctor's appointment and our meeting with all of the invested Children's Division People. We do lunch. Nap time is not as traumatic. Is it the light? Is it that she knows it will only be a short while?
After 3 sleep deprived nights. You start to question what you have gotten your family into? Is this really what you want to do? And the answer is no. It is not what YOU want, but what He wanted for you. It is what He needs for you. It is what He needs for them and for your family. Not only that, but it is so much more. It is how He is going to bless you more than He could by growing your family in a traditional way with biological children at this time. Just like Esther was called for such a time like this. He called us for this time.
Our placement took place during my winter vacation as a teacher. I did not have to take off to take them to all of their doctor appointments, or to get hair cuts and caught up on immunizations, or to get clothing and diapers and the things we would need. My husband's work was slow. He was home to help me out as our family transitioned to having two additional children in our home. And while it was at a time when the world would look on it as a sad time to take a child away from their family-Christmas, we were blessed with the celebration of adding safety and consistency and security and love to their lives. Something they had never known before.
Not a day goes by that I don't use my expertise in adoption and foster-care to help someone outside of my home. And recently to give back to my own family. There are approximately 1400 children in Missouri (according to the Missouri heart gallery website) alone waiting to be adopted, who need someone to love them. According to the Administration for Children and Families statistics, our foster children in care out numbered 3,000 at the end of our fiscal year in 2010 and need your support whether through a home, a prayer, donation of a uniform, school supplies, etc. My children got a second chance. They have given me more than I can ever give back to them. I am challenging my readers to give children who are just as special and deserving as my two a chance.
http://www.mfcaa.org/
http://www.moheartgallery.org/
http://www.faithinmotionkc.org/
http://orphanjusticecenter.com/
Full: lacking nothing. A circle: a curved plane consisting of all the points. God knew. He knew what he was doing when I had endometriosis. He knew what he was doing every time I was disappointed and had not conceived. He knew what he was doing every time we felt like we could not help our two. He knew what he was doing when he allowed the children to go through what they went through. He sustained them. He allowed them to be nourished. "Man does not live by bread alone". We have come full circle.
We are closing in on our one year anniversary to the finalization of the adoption. We are full circle: lacking nothing on a curved plane consisting of all the points knowing God will see us through.
