Professional Parent

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Most of us know these immortal words of the Forrest Gump character. I can picture Tom Hanks imparting the wisdom of his mama while sitting on the bench in his cream suit waiting patiently. Life. Birth--You have no choice at. There's no escaping being born. As the parents, you may try to take tip the scale in your favor, or stack the odds. Even with adoption, there is no guarantee. Despite your best efforts in genetic test before birth, Forrest's wisdom still holds true.

My journey with Autism Spectrum Disorders began in 1997, ironically in the spring. Pre-IB English had my number. The assignment: Do something you had never done before and the catch was you could not receive compensation for it. At 16 the things you think of cost money don't earn you money and I had no money to spend. Most of my classmates were doing cool things like jumping out of airplanes or learning to fence. When I was running out of time, my task was chosen for me. The secretary at our chiropractor's office needed someone to tutor her daughter and she could not pay anyone to do it. Her daughter was diagnosed with autism. Autism? Autism--a term I heard that afternoon, and had not heard before or cared enough about to remember until I met the little girl and her mother.

Today, I woke to realize, we survived another high school graduation with our adopted 5-year-old daughter. We waited and watched and worked to see. After 3 stable years in a loving, consistent home, we decided to use some labels, ADHD and Asperger's. With the help of the training I have had and the years of experience (do the math 2012-1997=15) working with kids who have autism spectrum disorders, I should be fully equipped to make it through the day to day with my beautiful, bright, shining daughter. Fifteen minutes before it is time to leave for my nephew's graduation, she comes down from her room wearing exactly what was not laid out for her to wear. The clothes I picked did not match in her mind's eye. They were not "beautiful" and were "ridiculous" among other things. Three attempts later she had on the bones of the outfit, with no sweater over the top of her tank top. The beauty of the mind of my daughter is that she cannot lie: She comes down the stairs wearing a sweatshirt she was to put away in the winter clothes that morning, and I ask her about what she was told to do, she can repeat the exact direction to me. She knows she is in deep water now (although if I told her she was in deep water she would look at me funny because idioms escape her literal thinking). The silent tears falling, slowly one by one, and mommy's lost her patience, now. Not with her daughter, but with herself.

Thank God for a husband who can step in and take the princess to put on her sweater find her fidget to take to graduation. She comes back downstairs. We go over the rules of graduation. We give her an out. It is okay to not go. That if she doesn't feel like her body can handle sitting there all night tonight, it is okay. At this point, the choice is hers. "I want to go, Mommy!" She says. "Can I have a drink there?" And the question of something to drink there continues throughout the event. And I think, "If only I had come prepared with that visual reminder..."

Life is like a box of chocolates...and we made it...and she loved the Panther clap. Congrats Oak Grove High  School Graduates 2012...You never know what you're gonna get!