Thursday, May 24, 2012

I quit my job.


Making something official, officially yours, officially done. What does it mean? Does it need a stamp of approval? This week summer vacation has commenced for thousands of students in our local school district. Water balloons took flight, basketball games picked up and parents fretted about the next three months as to how they would occupy their children. The words poured off my husband’s lips like think maple syrup, “Your never ending summer is just beginning…” I was about to venture into uncharted waters. Yeah, I am a certified teacher…certifiable is more like it, or how I felt many days with the paperwork and meetings and things I seemed to forget to do in the moment.

I am now a homeschooling mom.  Sorry interrupted by life. Asthma. Hopefully we won’t be headed to the hospital. Ah, homeschooling. I should be totally qualified right? Like a dentist pulling his own kids tooth when it’s loose. Where do I start? Which curriculum should I choose? I know one thing to be true, her spiritual development will not dwindle. We will ignite her spirit and see her flourish.

I said goodbye to friends who after one year in this current school and district had become a family. True, dear, had my back and had seen more of me than my family at times. But when stepping out in faith, God finds a way to tell me that I am on His path. Each little piece: a piece of mail comes at the right time, a conversation with a coworker, a job offer, an email that a piece of writing has been accepted. I stepped out in faith and resigned a job that consistently I was told I was good at, but bogged down with. Can this really be right? Can we make it without two incomes? I could definitely make my doubt column bigger than my hope/faith column, but that really wouldn’t be faith. But just knowing my doubts of my ability reminds me of one of my favorite verses Jesus reminds me that, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there, and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matt. 17:20)

I hope each day gets easier. Each one of my coworkers has made a cement footprint on my heart, in my life. Each imprint different, lasting, each made me grow, cry, definitely laugh from my belly, many to tears of joy. Thank you for this year that has gone by too quickly. Never have a left a school year with sadness, like this, a certain cloud of what I will be missing next year, will my students be okay without me there? Why didn’t I listen to my coworkers when they told me of the difference in my students in just a short time I had been their teacher?

The answer is simple: Faith in a road that I skip down. Faith in a journey I hold a map for, but cannot read completely. Hebrews 11:1 and 3 reminds, that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” And “By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.”

1 comment:

  1. I have watched you teach and learned a great deal! You truly are never to old to learn! I cherish the laughter and hugs and maybe a few tears we shared this year! Falls, carries, pain and successes! While I leave after many years, you are simply taking a break to be what must come fist, and that is to be a mom! Our children are god's gift, we only get one chance and you are giving your best! So look forward to these days! Love you

    ReplyDelete